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My Gift To You
- A game/app where you can violently dismember the owl from Candy Crush - A "Choose Your Own Adventure" porno - Pants with a built-in, battery-operated heating pad - A watch with a phone that only lets you decline calls, with an option to let the person know that you declined them with varying levels of anger - A robot that's only there for hugs. Bonus: this will ease the way for fully functional robots by 2025 - A supermarket that only sells ingredients. Fruits, vegetables, spices, etc. Like Whole Foods, but without the pretentious, $50 water bottles - A trench coat with a pizza warmer built into the back (mostly for the New York/Chicago market) - Shoes that are magnetized to each other so that when you take them off, they stay together - An edible marker that you can eat when the ink runs dry - A suit that, when reversed, is also a hoodie - A tie that's also a yoyo - Cheetos in the shape of crackers - Earmuffs made out of Dixie cups, so you always have something to drink out of in the winter - Sonar functionality in a phone, so you can pretend to be a submarine in your own home with greater accuracy - LED strips on the front and back of cars with customizable messages such as "Thanks for letting me in" or "Get off your phone, dingus" Also, is it illegal to shoot Nerf guns at cars that cut you off?

Posted at 11:17 am by jinx_me34

May 8, 2014   09:35 AM PDT
haha. Awesome.

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